"Okay, look - if I use my Divine Power for little stuff like un-stacking cows, you guys are going to want me to use it for every little thing!"





"Oh, for the love of me, come on! Really, Bessy? Really? We're doing this again? What did I tell you last time, Bessy? 'If you get stuck again, I'm not going to help you get that bucket off'. I said it, and I know you heard me."





"I did say that, right? You were there, Marigold, I know you heard me say it. What are you guys going to do once I'm gone, huh? Spend the rest of your lives stacked in a pyramid with buckets on your noses???"





"Hi Cowsea!"

"Oh, hey Mifty."

"Misty."

"Whatever."





"Now, I'm serious Bessy. This is the last time I'm gonna help you out of a bucket. You got that, alright?"





"Cowsea, look! I used your milk, and I did it! I made cheese! I'm a real cheesemaker!!!"











"Well...I guess that is technically cheese. Good work...um. Mmmmm...Misty?"

"Yup!"

"Right. Well, good job Misty. You've started down the glorious path to cheese-making. May your skills grow and multiply, and may you find fortune in all things farming."





"To this end, I, Cowsea, Goddess of Cheese and Farming, grant you - my one and only follower in this hellhole - my blessing."





"Now, if I remember right, you were going to use that cheese to somehow make everyone here worship me. Not sure how or if you can pull that off, but good luck. Let me know how that goes, I'm a bit busy at the moment."





"Well...if the queen knows how good my cheese is, she'll switch to worshipping you, right?"

"Uh-huh. Sure, let's go with that."





"Right! And if she worships you, everyone else will, too...right?"

"Mmhm."





"But to show her my cheese, I'd have to first show the manager, so he'll introduce me to the queen. So I guess I'll go show the manager my cheese, and he'll introduce me to her...?"

"That's entirely possible."





"So that's what I'll do, then! The next time you see me, every dwarf in Shielddawn will be a follower of Cowsea!"

"Uh-huh. Good luck with that."









"Moo...?"

"Hm?"





"Oh, come on. She won't ACTUALLY meet the queen. She's like, twelve. What sort of twisted sociopath would send a twelve-year-old girl to meet the Queen of Shielddawn?"
Losing Is Fun