Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What? Um, no???

He's an elf. You don't care if he has long, golden locks, or how strong his arms are to pull such a mighty bow, or how he saved your life in such a heroic manner. You don't care about his good looks, or his chiseled muscles. And seriously, who would care about how he so effortlessly struck down evil, or is so at peace with nature? His long, delicate, exotic ears. His beautiful, green eyes. His smooth, unblemished skin.

He's just an elf, and that makes him gross and ugly. What sort of dwarf would you be if you found an elf attractive? They're all-what was it Kulet said about elves? Oh! Right, they're all just a bunch of "tree huggers." Honestly, you're a little upset the subject was even brought up.

"You're all welcome to travel with us to Shielddawn," the tree-hugger says. "If we meet some other threat, Hemlock and I will no doubt be able to keep you all safe."

The nerve! As though you proud, noble Dwarves needed an elf's protection. The very thought makes you want to punch him right in his stupid, beautiful face. Still, the threat of the zombie menace looms behind you, and you're both going in the same direction...

After a quick, mumbled discussion between the remaining dwarves, you all agree to travel with the elves, ONLY because you happen to be going in the same direction. That's all.

With your new traveling companions freshly added to the group, your party continues on to Shielddawn. Your destiny awaits!

By a totally random crazy happenstance, you just so happen to end up walking next to Darkerdaffodil. Jeez, might as well strike up a conversation, even if he IS a dumb gross elf.

"So um...you wouldn't happen to like cheese, would you?"



We're lost."

"Well, maybe if you knew where you were going, we wouldn't have spent the last couple hours wandering through the woods," Reg replies, propping her helmet open with one hand.

"ME?" Captain Holt snorts. "Lass, YOU were the one who ran off the path chasing a kobold! There wasn't even a kobold! You just ran off into the woods swinging your blasted sword again!"

"There was TOO a kobold," Reg shoots back. "It was just invisible. You know how kobolds do that! So excuse me for trying to make the world a little safer by striking one more of those dirty lizard-dogs from the face of the planet, Captain! Maybe next time you get us lost in the woods I won't have to add another kobold to my kill list."

"Oh, here we go again," Captain Holt groans, rolling his eyes.

Not to be outdone, Reg rolls her eyes even harder. "Look, I didn't go that far into the woods. You were the one who got turned around and led us even further in!"

"No," Holt replies, "I meant the invisible kobolds. That's not a thing. It's never been a thing. Kobolds can't turn invisible. Kobolds have never been able to turn invisible."

"You don't know that," Reg shoots back. "Have you ever even seen an invisible kobold?"

"No," Holt says, "because they don't-"

"They do too! Kobolds could have perfected some sort of invisibility cloaking device techno-magic thing, and then they'd be able to stalk around all they want! You don't know. It could happen, just think about it. Kobolds, invisible, nefarious, doing nefarious invisible kobold things. Invisible."

"Gods damn it, kobolds can't turn invisible!" Captain Holt yells. "A kobold can't turn any more invisible than I can! What, do you think they can just snap their fingers fingers and-"

Losing Is Fun